Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Uncut Stories from the Antepartum Unit 2.14.11

Just to give you all a little idea of what life has been like for almost 
a week while in the antepartum unit....

Firstly, although bed rest may sound like a vacation, it is vastly 
different from any vacation I have ever been on in my life. I will be 
the first person to admit the difficulty of putting yourself in 
another's shoes until one has experienced things from one's own 
perspective but in order to provide you with a miniscule snap shot, 
imagine this:

You are completely, undeniably unable to get out of bed no matter how 
much you beg the nurses and your dr to just let you use the bathroom. 
You are denied again after you plead, bribe, and even offer your soul 
just to be able to go number 2 in the bathroom, already accepting the 
fact that number 1 has to be in a bed pan. You apologize over and over 
to the nurses as you are constantly paging them to change your bed 
pan, clean you, wipe you, refill your water, pick up whatever item has 
fallen on the floor....

 I never fathomed the intricacies that are involved in complete bed 
rest and the thought process that has been put into expediting these 

Would you imagine that there is a blow -up contraption called the hair 
genie that attatches to your hospital bed so a nurse can wash your 
hair? This miraculous invention involves a lot of towels, five basins 
of water, and a nurse with a heart of gold. I had my second hair 
washing this morning as well as bed-sponge bath. She also 
simultaneously changed my bed sheets without me ever leaving the bed-- 
pretty cool stuff!! 

 According to this same nurse, who assists the patients in personal 
grooming services and re-humanizing, many patients contrive their own, 
unique rituals for surviving bed-rest lock-down. For instance, she 
informed me that one patient commandeered a labor mirror which 
attaches to the end of her bed. Every morning, she uses the mirror to 
expertly apply make-up and straighten her hair. Another patient keeps 
weekly appointments with her hair dresser. Patients will even attempt 
to do their nails, shave their legs, and wear cute clothes.

 I am willing to put vanity aside during my stay here but give me 
another couple of weeks and I too may be scheduling salon appointments 
from my hospital bed.

I can't wait for the day until I am able to feel the ground with my 
feet again but until then, am trying to keep my spirits as high as 
possible. Although there will be tears as well as other unmentionable 
bodily fluids, i know that this is temporary and for the time being 
both me and baby j are healthy. Of course, I don't know if I will want 
to hug him or strangle him for putting me through this ordeal, but I do 
know that some day it will be a distant memory and I will be fully 
capacitated, with my family. 

Thank you all for your love and support and I will continue to keep 
you informed of uncut stories from the antepartum unit...


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